Author: ktsladek1

So here we are in March 2021!!! Wow time files when you’re having fun…..Where are we now?? I had my second surgery end of December. They call it an exchange surgery- you exchange your hockey puck tissue expanders for some nice soft, plush implants that feel so real!! If you know, you know, and its a super exciting process. You get some kind of normalcy back, but with a little round, perky edge. Its quite nice!! Me and the sisters are getting to know each other and they are fitting in nicely so far! I opted for a mini abdominoplasty (aka mini tummy tuck) along with this exchange because how often do you happen to be in the OR with a plastic surgeon??? And, no, I don’t have shredded abs because of this part of the surgery, lol. I have less loose skin and nice scar from basically hip to hip! All in all, this exchange was a BREEZE compared to the mastectomy in a physical sense, but mentally was a little more challenging. Colder weather, less sunny skies and I was restricted from exercise for longer. But, all in all, very easy and now I am 8 weeks out and feel like myself again. She got lost for a bit, I didn’t even realize but BAM- she came back and it sure does feel good. I kind of missed that spunky ol’ emotional volatile gal…. she brings some spunk and it keeps these boys on their toes.

So here we are…now what? Honestly, nothing! Just life! For me, I was so fortunate. I barely had time to know I had cancer before it was gone ,much less to “live with it.” I am not some hero bc of this or any stronger than any of you who are living with and going through whatever it is that has come your way. We are ALL survivors, different ways, different stories but all survivors. And honestly I don’t want to just survive, I want to thrive, but thats just me. Its easy for me to move on bc its really as if I never had it. I just had reason to get some new tata’s and some extra skin removed- it was just two surgeries I had to recover from, not living in an arena of ongoing treatments, which so many of you have had to do and are still doing. That mental game, that faith, that trust, that is a hero.

Do I live in a space of worrying about recurrence? Honestly, no. My dark head space goes to what was wrong with my immune system to begin with for it to happen. What did I do wrong with my diet? It goes to me feeling like a fraud because I am working my dream job of coaching others in their own health and wellness journey and I had a cancer diagnosis. Talk about feeling inadequate. That is the mental battle I have to fight.

But, because of my own journey my body was so strong and I owned those two surgeries like a boss (thats so arrogant, right?)!!! But I did, yall. It was not a hard journey. It took some grit and alot of patience but it was not hard. I was also so spoiled and loved and well taken care of which allowed me to push through. But, no, I do not worry about recurrence or live in a state of what if’s. Im not sure of the reason. Denial? Head buried in the sand?? Maybe, i have no idea. The only thing I can come up with is what good will it do me to worry about this? And If I am worrying then I need to change something so I can not worry any longer. But there isn’t anything I would change with my lifestyle. I am eating as clean and balanced as its gonna get. I mean I can always add in more plants, generally speaking, Im really content and don’t want to be extreme with my nutrition. I exercise, I pray, I have low stress, really positive mindset. All the things these books and doctors tell you are the reason you get cancer (lifestyle, stress, etc..), check! I am doing it all!! There isnt anything more I can do to alter any outcome that may or may not happen. So then I say, “alright, what will be will be.”

I completely trust the sovereignty of God. I am not afraid of death and I am not afraid of suffering. I am doing everything I can do that is comfortable and sustainable for me to prevent a recurrence, so therefore , the rest is not up to me. And I have peace with this. Do I want to suffer? Hell no. Do I want to die? 100 percent hell no. If I think about it long enough will I cry and be super sad thinking about leaving my husband and my boys and my family and friends behind bc my story was that I passed on earlier than I wanted? Yes, yes and yes. But why think about that? Why go there and get all worked up bc if it happens, it happens and ya know what? We will be ok. We will live through it and we will have peace. So, no, I don’t worry about it coming back bc if it does it was just how my story was supposed to go and so be it. Ill go down swinging. I have too much life to live right now and too much fun to have and hopefully much more encouragement to spread to be worrying about what may or may not be.

So what now? Well, its been fun sharing this journey but I am done talking about this part. Its time to move on and blog about other things. So this will the be the wrap up of this part of the story. Unless, of course, new developments occur. I think from here Im gonna start talking about the things I have done that helped me along the way. Maybe I can send some encouragement that eating that bag of chips really will be ok. Ya know a little lighter, perhaps applicable to your life. Im just not exactly sure.

I AM sure that I want to help others figure out how to live a balanced journey of health and wellness. I AM sure that I love to encourage and cheer others on. Im a solid enneagram type 7 wing 6 so you know even if I commit to a plan for yall, it will change with the wind. Committing and consistency are a big struggle for me, WHICH IS WHY if I can find that in my life ANYONE can!!!

Until the next one…..

Almost two weeks post op from the bilateral mastectomy and the start of the reconstruction and it feels like a year. For real. I mean, 11 days is not that long in the big scheme and when I step back and realize only a few more days of drains (hopefully) I can refocus and shift my perspective. Gah there is just so much I can say and I dont want to write as discombobulated as my mind feels darting from one point to the next as to not bore you or confuse you. So, I will stay focused on this one big aha moment I had over the last few weeks. Everything is purposed and sometimes shit just happens.

If you dont know me, its important for this particular blog to understand my worldview. Simply put, I believe in one God and that He created the world and everything in it. I believe in His sovereignty and that everything along each of our journeys can be used for good and purposed to grow us and use us. And yes, I believe He lets things happen to us, which is different than “causes” or “does this to us.”

This can be confusing because while I believe as I stated above ,I realize through this particular little adventure I am on that I must have also believed somewhere that I have way more control over some things in my life than I realized. Particularly in the “health and wellness” department. Let me explain.

I was watching a documentary on healing. To be fair, I havent finished it yet. However just from the beginning part the main idea of it is that our mind, body and spirit need to be aligned. If they are aligned and thinking specific focused thoughts along with removing stress from your life in addition too eating clean whole foods you can be healed. This is a very simplified version. As I am watching this documentary about positive thinking, eating clean, lowering stress I am like “ummmm, this is pretty much what I do.” It was weird. Im thankful for so many reasons for my health and wellness journey but this moment I was SOOOO thankful bc it made me realize, “man, sometimes shit just happens.” Of course, there is always room for improvement in our mindset and what we put in our bodies. Had I not already been living a 90/10 lifestyle of proper hydration, regular exercise, clean/whole food anti-inflammatory nutritional approach I would be just so stressed right now trying destress my life and control what I ate and “do” all these things to cure or get rid of this cancer and prevent any new cancer bc once they take it out lets not kid ourselves, it can come back and in a different area and all the things. And yes, I believe this is the right approach and I will continue to tweak my nutrition and look to decrease any stress . But had I not already been doing these things I would have had this false sense of control by doing these things. And I would have been so focused it would have caused even more stress while I was supposed to be decreasing the stress!! You feeling me??? Its crazy making.

Which brings me full circle to my worldview. Doing the “right” things–living a lifestyle of eating clean and decreasing your stress, drinking alkaline water (which Im totally still doing, btw), exercising regularly, trying to decrease environmental toxins- doing all these things is not a guarantee youre not going to get cancer. Doing the “right thing” doesn’t mean things are gonna work out in the way you want or expect. This is not the prosperity gospel. We are promised trouble, we are promised suffering and should count it a blessing to be able to suffer. We should do the right thing bc its the right thing to do, not bc we expect life to go the way we have it planned. I will continue to live the way I have been living because it makes me feel amazing and I believe its the best for us and our health. I will promote this way of life because I do believe it will serve us best for our overall health and decrease our disease stricken country. And it has served me well for my recovery. However, I am also well aware its not a guarantee and I am ok with this…..ish…lol. Dont believe the prosperity gospel.

When “it” happens, whatever “it” is, its not because of something you did or did not do. We live in a broken world and bad things happen to good people all the time. But when it does happen, look around you and know your’e not alone. God is there and He is faithful. Even if you’re not someone who practices a faith, it doesn’t make it any less true. He shows up through your community, through songs, through nature, through friends and family. He is there through the suffering in the valley and on the mountaintop. We just have to choose to see Him.

I could write and write about how God has been in every detail of this journey. I mean like really small details all the way to ‘Ive made it this far and survived the operation so clearly He’s not done with me’ big picture. But thats for another day. As for now, I am feeling stitched up (probably because I am) and tight like I have two big round reflectors sewed to my chest. I am using my mental strength to choose be thankful for these drains instead of hate them, choosing to be thankful I can walk and move, choosing to be thankful for this journey. This is something I havent really had to actively practice in a long time as my life was pretty much on a fabulous cruise control of joy so it was just a constant state of being thankful. Then it got derailed like freight train. But any complaint I may have I try and turn it somehow into something to be thankful for- which takes practice and I mean, call it cheesy but it actually works. Its crazy. Try it. Somehow your heart changes after you say thank you about the thing you are annoyed by.

I always want to encourage you- this feels a little scattered and I hope I didnt confuse you and want to make run to eat Mcdonalds and say “it doesnt matter anyway.” Because it does matter. Your health can make or break your day and its worth it to make it a priority. Enjoy the journey……

So my first question I always wonder is HOW? How did they know? How did they find out? Did they feel something? Routine mammogram? And its not to be nosy, right? Its just human. We humans always relate others experiences back to our own life. Its just what we do. We need/want to know what we need to know in case this may happen to us. I get it. So, here is the beginning of my story leading up to that call….”Hey Katie this is Dr. Jones, when you can, give me a call back so we can discuss the biopsy results….”

You know its about to get real.

So Ive only been having mammograms for two years. My first one in 2018, they called me back to do the 3D one bc I have “dense breast tissue” and all was good. Last year, fall of 2019, I had the 3D one and they called me back for a 2nd mammogram because the radiologist saw calcifications that he did not like to see. So that led to a stereotactic biopsy (basically you lay boobs down on the table where they come from underneath and do the needle biopsy guided by an imaging machine- its super comfy…said no one ever!) which led to a 2nd stereotactic biopsy. When I left that day, the very sweet, professional radiologist said “I really expect this all to be fibrocystic tissue and benign tissue.” Awesome. Sounds great, doc. Thanks for the pokes and Ill catch you later! Turns out that some of the tissue they plucked out was “atypia.” This is very gray and just means that the cells are not normal but they are not cancer. But they could turn into cancer in like 10 years so its best to get them out. So I landed in the OR in November 2019 with a lumpectomy of said tissue. Outpatient surgery, no big deal and off I went. At my follow up visit Dr. Natalie Jones ( my surgeon) suggested we do a 6 month follow up breast MRI, since I had never had one, as a baseline. Then in 6 months we do another mammogram and this will be the schedule for a few years then back to yearly mammograms. Perfect. See you in June.

Then 2020 happened and June came and went. I actually did call and talk to the gal who schedules the MRI’s, but because of the timing of my cycle the original date of the MRI wouldnt work so we rescheduled for July. I almost did not go. I had not received a follow up confirmation, I could not remember the exact days of my menstrual cycle they wanted to do the MRI and at this point we were 4 months into covid and I was just annoyed that I had to fit this into my day. I called to double check the appointment, turns out I was still in the right window so I went. I literally forgot I had it done once it was done. I went on with my regularly scheduled programing of my two amazing jobs, my workouts, my moming (is that a word?) my wifing (yep not sure about that word, either) and all the things. Dr. Jones called me a couple days later and left a message, “Hey Katie this is Dr. Jones. Just calling to talk with you about the results of your MRI. It showed multiple masses in your right breast. They are round and smooth which is indicative of benign masses but some were whited out and the radiologist would like to look at these more closely. Give me a call back with any questions.” So I called. Dr. Jones was in surgery. One of the nurses was very happy to chat with me and very helpful. The first thing I said was, “Dr. Jones said ‘multiple masses in my right side.’ Now, dont you think the word ‘masses’ is a little aggressive? Do we need to use such an aggressive word here?” Silent pause. Then “how about nodules?” Nodules, she chose the word nodules. Thank you sweet nurse, that is so much less offensive and scary!!

An u/s sound was scheduled and a repeat mammogram to compare it to the mammogram I had just had 9 months prior. To be clear, the mammogram I had 9 months ago did not show these nodules, only showed calcifications. The repeat mammogram done with the u/s also did not show the nodules. The nodules only showed up on the MRI- scary, right??? Yeah, Im pretty thankful Dr. Jones ordered the MRI and I am definitely an asshat for being so smug about having it done.

The u/s took almost an hour for the right side. If I heard it once I heard it 7 times, “maam, you have really busy boobs, this is gonna take awhile!”

“Honey just get comfy on this u/s table bc you have the busiest boobs and we are gonna be here while!”

“As you know, you have very complex breast tissue!”- nope had no idea….

Im not even joking. What do you even say to that, lol. I have no idea. I think I said thank you??? The radiologist took 2 biopsy’s but she could have taken more. She showed me the MRI and there were literally white specs all over each breast. She said all the white spots are what had taken up the contrast during the MRI. She tells me that cancer takes up contrast. But not to worry because benign nodules also take up contrast. It was all very interesting… and confusing. She fully expected both of the biopsy’s to come back as benign fibroadenomas and I would be back for a follow up MRI in 6 months. Sweet, doc. Sounds wonderful. Ill plan to see you then and thanks again for the nice feel up and adding the needles for that special touch. In all seriousness she and the nurses and radiology techs were amazing and so nice.

So thats it, folks. That was on a Thursday and Dr. Jones called me the next Monday afternoon. By Tuesday morning we were in her office discussing surgery options (remember the white specs on the MRI? Yeah, you can take these well used breast feeding machines on out, Ill take a new perky set please and thank you!) By Thursday we were in the plastic surgeons office talking tissue expanders and then on to the genetics counseling appt for genetic testing. And on Friday afternoon I had a surgery date set for Sept 16th. Wow, helluva week. It was a whirlwind for sure!! The hormone receptivity test came back in there at some point and the good news is no chemo as of now- lymph node depending. And I will need to take tamoxifen post op for some years- maybe 5??? I dont know. So that is so amazing for sure!! However, I did have a whole plan for menopause which included ALL THE ESTROGEN bc that is what makes you all warm and fuzzy and happy….so now I get to navigate taking a med which blocks estrogen—you hearing me?? That means blocking all the warm, fuzzies and happy happy full of joy Katie. My poor husband and children. That could be an entire blog- my plans versus Gods plans. Oh and how He totally went before me through this whole thing. Hmmm, so much to say ( ooooh, I know a song that sings about so much to say….)

So not a super exciting post here and Im not even sure how this is supposed to be encouraging. Maybe to tell you not to be an asshat and be all arrogant that it couldn’t happen to you. Bc that was me, complete asshat (this is my new favorite word of 2020). Maybe to tell you to be thankful in the details even if its not how you thought your day would go or the plans are way different than what you had planned. Because I can tell you I was supposed to be on 2 beach trips in September. One for fun and one for work (which would have also been so much fun). So it is what is folks. You can choose to wallow in it or take it by the reigns, see the good and kick its ass. Your choice.

We all long to be a part of a club, a community, a group, a member, a part of something. Its innate in us. This is why so many hurt feelings occur and conflict happens even as young children. Its natural and fun to be a “part of the club!” As Ive grown into adulthood, gotten married and had children, Ive had the privilege of entering many unspoken clubs. The “mom of all boys club,” “the 40’s club,” “the dog mom club, “my kid has seen inappropriate things on the internet club,” “I have a driver club!” And many more. Some of the clubs you inadvertently get to join are not as much fun and you really wouldn’t have even chosen to join them. But perhaps, after you have been a part of that club or had the experience, maybe you can see it as a gift. We tend to grow a little differently with Jesus, perhaps ways we otherwise wouldnt have, being a part of the latter.

The latest club Ive had the pleasure of being welcomed into( say this with sarcasm), one that I can say Id be just fine without having been invited, is the, “you have breast cancer club.” Yep. Conversation stopper for sure! Not one I ever suspected I would join. No risk factors, no family history and Im still pretty young! The good news? Its super early and very treatable! Carcinoma in situ and she brought a friend, invasive ductal cell carcinoma, stage 1A. ERPR positive and HER 2 negative ( that is really good, btw!). Can be treated with surgery and some tamoxifen for a few years. They will test my lymph nodes during surgery so I am very aware that the plan of no chemotherapy as of now can change. But Im hopeful it wont. Surgery is set for Sept 16, 2020 @ Riverside Hospital, bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction.

So how are we? How am I? How are the kids? These are the concerns of all and its amazing how much love we feel! We are great! Honestly! We are real with each other and the boys and THANKFUL! Thankful its been found and its treatable. Id be lying if I said I wasnt looking at the silver lining of replacing the ‘very experienced have served me well’ sisters I currently have. Just being real. Albeit not the path I would have chosen, but hey, gotta see the bright side! But this, this is so very doable. This is so gonna be ok. I know what cancer can do. I also know what can be done to cancer. Ive seen both, Ive lived both through my mama and through friends. However, I wont bow down to it. I feel strong, determined and empowered. I dont fear surgery, I dont fear recovery and I dont fear its gonna take me. Im ready and thankful with eyes wide open of how God has already gone before me and is always faithful (another post on that another day).

So for right now, I am doing all the things I can do because I can do them . Im preparing myself (or trying to prepare myself) for the rest Ill HAVE to take and for the recovery. Of course, Im going to read all the things nutrition and you may find me snorting mushrooms and only drinking spinach- just kidding. But Ill be forever trying to learn more, trying to figure out why and what to do from here. Ill also be waiting for candid camera to pop out of the corner at anytime!!!

A few years back when I was teaching VBS I asked God for a life verse. All these people I knew who I respected had life verses. They would say, ” oh thats my life verse!” or “yeah God gave me this verse….” And goodness, I wanted one! I wanted to be a part of that club!! So I asked. I said “God, I really want one of these life verses that everyone else has!! I want something that YOU specifically give to me so every time I see it, every time I read it, I know its from you to me.” And he did. Just like that. I just knew a few minutes later when I read the verse it was to me, from Him. Something that me, Katie Sladek, should live by. So this is what Ill be doing now as I prepare for this next journey in this new club, “Rejoicing always, praying continuously and in all things giving thanks. For this is the will of God.” (1 Thess 5 16-18). Hopefully Ill be encouraging you along the way with me!

Peace and love- Katie

Yay thanks for being here! Im Katie Sladek and have no idea what Im doing! Ive been encouraged to write a blog a few times over the years and I cant imagine why anyone would want or be interested in reading anything I have to say. And its scary, and it takes time and attention to detail- which is a very big shortcoming of mine! However, here I am!

Ive been married to Tommy for almost 20 years!! Wow! And we have 3 children, all boys, and 3 babes in heaven we will meet one day! Thomas is 16, Cade is 14 and Gage is 9! They are the most amazing kids! Parenting has been all the things and thats a whole separate blog in itself! For another day for sure! Tennessee Tech University is where our journey began and I must be the luckiest girl in the world for him to have chosen me. Word is is that before we met he did see me on campus sporting my L.L. Bean backpack stitched with my initials (you know you had one of those) and tried to look me up in the student directory by guessing my name! Maybe hes the lucky one, hahaha!! I think we both are!

Basically I believe we are all born with gifts and talents that we have been given by the One Great Almighty God above and we each have a purpose. Figuring out those gifts is always a journey and looks different for everyone. I dont know all of mine. Of course I know what Im not good at bc how easy it is to say and recognize all the negative things about us. We are our own worst critic, no doubt (again, an entire other blogpost can be done on this, too!) I do know, without a doubt, that I am an encourager by nature and it comes very easy for me. It fills me up with joy when Im able to use this gift. I also believe it is our duty to use these gifts for the good of our community because we are a part of a whole. This is the reason for starting this blog. If only one person is encouraged by anything I say, then praise God.

For all of you who have figured out one of your many talents and gifts and dare to use it in a new way, please know this. I am scared, I feel stupid, I have no idea what Im gonna say and 100 percent sure Im gonna word vomit on you with all the wrong quotations and wrong words- I apologize in advance! So read at your own risk and I am praying you are lifted and encouraged by what will come.

Peace and Love-Katie